"It takes a village." We usually hear these words in connection to the need for community in raising children. For the last year, these words have been rattling around in my brain- not for childcare support, but for life support in general.
Up until two years ago, I would strive to be as removed as possible from any sort of community, be it church or otherwise. I had no desire to share life with anyone who lived outside of the walls of my house. I had been hurt numerous times by others and I found, that by retreating into my home and focusing on my single family unit, my heart was better protected. I actually cried when quarantine ended after schools had been shut down for 7 weeks in 2021- I was not ready to embrace that other people would be re-entering our lives again.
I liked our solitude and only wanted for us to be left alone.
But something changed in the Spring of 2022. It was right before we began to suspect that something was not right with our home. There was a stirring in my heart that told me that my family would soon be leaving our beloved house and moving to a new place. This feeling also stirred within me a deep understanding that my family needed to move toward community- the very community that I had so actively avoided fully investing into for all of those years.
Since we have made the move, community has not been perfect, but there has also been a lot of sweetness. It takes a conscious effort for me to pursue others or to make myself available to engage. My guard is constantly up anticipating hurt from not being included or thought of or kindred with others. It feels much more natural to hunker in at home and not have to navigate different personalities or opinions or ways of doing life. But, because we intentionally made the move in pursuit of community, we have pushed ourselves and the fruit those efforts have produced have been rich.
There have been tangible benefits from walking into community: friendships, support and resources. But what has been the most exciting are the intangible gains: Spiritual encouragement and a heart made more light and open to loving. The more that I have sought to connect with other women, the more vulnerable I have made myself. It is that vulnerability, that I was so terrified of initially, that has opened my eyes to see other people and their needs. This is where the beautiful work of community comes in: meeting with each other in transparency and bearing each other's losses and gains together.
Recently, I was sharing some hard feelings with a friend. Rather than try to solve all my problems with the "right words to say," she simply sat there and cried with me and affirmed my pain. What an incredible picture of community in action!
All that is to say, coming from the one who always preferred isolation, there is such an intentional and beautiful design to the way that our Creator has called us to live with one another.
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
if one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25
Comentarios